While rolling around in bed one night thinking about Kaia’s C-birth, I suddenly realized that most of the words I associated with it began with the letter “S”. I didn’t even have to dig to think of these words, they just flew around in my brain at warp speed. These words alone function as a short, harsh story of her C-birth.
Her Birth Begins with “S”
Stopped
Scared
Shuffled
Stripped
Sedated
Spinal
Supine
Shaved
Strapped
Scrubbed
Sterile
Smalltalk
Strangers
Supervised
Scalpel
Sliced
Slashed
Sectioned
Savage
Sacrilege
Subhuman
Stolen
Swiped
Severed
Suctioned
Separated
Screamed
Sutured
Superglued
Scarred
Sore
Stinging
Seepage
Solitude
Sobbed
Sorrow
Shushed
Shamed
Silenced
Surrendered
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3 comments:
You sound so bitter. Maybe you should just be grateful one of the "s" words was not "stillborn."
Anonymous -
If you take time to read the rest of my blogs, you would realize that yes, I'm bitter and yes, i'm working towards healing. It's a long, tough battle that takes time and one MUST heal to move on. Sometimes, healing comes through poems and writing and crying and writhing and walking...
Comments such as these only make the wounds deeper, as they are the exact type of comments many C-birth women hear from insensitive strangers and members of the medical establishment.
Also, if you would read my blogs you would see pages upon pages of my utter gratitude for my healthy, beautiful, loving daughter. That doesn't diminish, though, the experience.
That said, I'm glad you read it and took the time to process it. I hope it offers a glimpse inside the souls of so many suffering women...
I know this post is long past, but as a fellow (sister?) public journaler, I know the lingering effects of a negative post on such a sensitive topic. I found you through MaryBeth, via Jeanette and I wanted to send my love and support. My son was born three years ago by a very invasive and traumatic cesarean after a homebirth transfer. It's been a long road home. Your clarity so soon into the healing process is an inspiration. And I am so glad you are honoring your grief and trauma and pain. It is so important. My motto has been, 'If you don't feel it, you can't get through it.' My heart is with you.
Brooke
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