for jason, twenty-eight

upon pulling back

the edges of my heart

the revelation was that

you were always there

deep down

tunneled and safe

knocking, knocking

i knew this

when I was in high school

with stringy hair

and combat boots

and so many poems

i could drink them

for days

when she asked me

“who would you marry”

and I answered

immediately

unremarkably

without hesitation

you

like the worry stone

whose edges are smooth

from rhythmic touch

from ages, from love

so, too, my heart now

smooth, from love

from 120 moons

i get it now

it’s not that you complete me

as much as you

make me remember

who I am

when I’m alone

with the dark moon

so bare, so tiny

intense

like a child

destined to birth

like her

destined to be ours

on this day

yours

*** on jason's 28th birthday, 4.11.2006

Blogs Shmlogs

Holy Cow, don't ever go checkin' other other peeps' blogs at 11:30 at night. Not only do you realize that the blog world is truly a web, but that web grabs ya and reallllly doesn't want to let you go. Nope. It wants you to sit and read, read, read until you get too tired and BAM - down comes the spider. Eats you alive with incredible words. Hilarious, sarcastic, honest, edgy, wailing words.

A few nights ago I became engrossed in a few blogs and finally had to go to sleep. I left my computer screen feeling like an utter amateur...like a fifth grader writing a 3 paragraph essay on the disappearance of dinosaurs.

Ya know the saying "Well, there's always someone worse off than you". Well, in the blog world, there's always someone "much better at writing than you"! Much, much, much better. Start to read blogs and you'll be amazed at the talent out there. True talent. Word-smiths. Analogy queens. Masterful picture painters (with words). Insightful story tellers. And people who have an awful lot to say about poop.

Our Kai-Kai at 9 Moons

- Finally crawls
- Has 2 top teeth and 2 bottom teeth. Teething has recently been a bear. Knows the sound of dispensing teething tablets.
- Is a chatterbox. Grams swears she said "March Madness" and Jason heard her repeat it a few hours later. What the...?
- Accepts that her binky really is her best friend
- Shows off and smiles for other babies and kids
- Clap, clap, claps her hands
- Devours black beans, Grams' yogurt parfait mix, and Cheerios
- Threw a real, true blue, diva fit because I wouldn't let her grab the glasses off my face. She's a pistol.
- Favorite toys include: teething tablet bottle, diaper creme bottle, IKEA froggy sippy cup, wipes, banging two binkys together, cell phone
- Favorite TOY toys include: links, Oscar the Grouch puppet, stacking rings, Binky Elmo (what have we done??!!)
- Sits up in her crib and plays...or holds on to the crib rails like a monkey and cries to be released
- Still doesn't sleep through the night (how long will this be on my list???)
- Still nurses
- Is tickleish on her back and neck and chubby little thighs
- Has crazy bed head hair when she wakes up
- Wants to eat whatever we eat
- Adores her puppy and kitty and recognizes the sound of their jingling collars
- Jabbers on about "Da da da da" and "mom mom mom" and "guh guh" and "buh buh"
- Discovered the lip puckering, raspberry blowin', spit flingin' thing with her mouth (what do you call this? Sorry, it's almost midnight!). Loves to do it with her mouth full of food.
- Holds her breath when really upset (like I did and my Mother before me did when we were tykes)
- Protests a dirty diaper
- Has a great memory/remembers things you show her after the first time (like sticking her finger inside Pop-Beads, knowing how to get her toys to make noise, etc)
- Smiles when she first sees her babysitter Kimmy
- Is mastering the cute lil' pincser grasp
- Splashes in the bath
- Grams says she has "chubby insteps"
- Sometimes sweetly pats my back (like I do to hers) when she lays her head on my shoulder to go nitey nite
- Loves to hear her voice echo loudly
- Digs peek-a-boo
- Loves to stand on her tippy-toes
- Figured out how to get her arm out of her sleeve
- Has started to understand the concept of putting things in my mouth after I put something in hers (like her binky)
- Has pooped in the bathtub
- Never fails to make me overflow with gratitude and love and helps me remember what my real priorities are